The (Shut-Up) Years

i was (invisible) once
for about two years,

i was less than a leaf
put away from the dining
room table,

and i didn’t
like it at all, —

going about their business,
shaking their sandy little
salt shakers,

saying, “please
pass the butter,” all smooth,
and bitter cool.

and the worst
part was dessert when they’d
swallow their individually
wrapped secrets of life

god-damned chocolate-covered mints
rich people get beside their pillows

(you know? besides not having an
esophagus, a voice, a rough body,)

i knew i was missing the best part
of living which was to stand amazed,

“Shut up, sit down, nobody knows”

(i was invisible for about two years)
until some body real took notice


14: Real Toads


now that i’m invisible


now that i’m invisible a few moments
from now

i feel immigrant knees, a slow time
lapse &a dirty-trick camera freeze
now that i’m invisible i am afraid
i’m a broke bastard begging for words
whose syllables, let’s face it, could
never stand as tall as a sanctuary of
trees! &why should that make me
think of the bubble gum we chewed
&squished up together on a wall??
green&pink forever; real soft,
then real hard.  definitely not in-
visible. i can’t help but think of
–the parts we took for granted;
the love from our bodies, which is
the only love ever given, &dared
to receive. lips on a forehead, hands
on shoulders, a child in the socket
of a hip. and bare feet. dear god,
i think i’ll miss bare feet as much
as cuddling with a sleeping kitten.

for Real Toads