,i become a fish when,

,bagpipe baritones drone,
the deepest singular hook,
-long life pitch, and then it’s utterly
,gone, -the tone, the tome

{i become a fish when i’m not in my right mind}

,dead fish, – i’m looking at it all wrong,
,live fish, – so you’ve found yourself alone,
,mouth, stay open,
,you don’t need blood, mud or water,

[55 for Real Toads]


33 thoughts on “,i become a fish when,

  1. I really like this piece. In particular the progression and disintegration to fish state and how the first and second stanzas play off each other – hook and all. Well done and viva la.

  2. For me, this is as contemporary as 21st century poetry should be, spare, expressing such concepts as individual alienation in efficient sound bites.


  3. The idea of gasping for what sustains you when you aren’t quite in your right mind is quite compelling.The poem dismisses what is not needed, so the question becomes, what is it that is needed?

    1. What is needed is a treasure of eternal value buried within us. I was reading of a fish with a gold coin inside its mouth before I ran across this prompt. Of course there is a metaphor with the gold coin! And there is only One fish 🐟

      1. A bit. The well had dried up rather completely for a while. Life took a severe left turn. Things are settling back down and the words are finding their way down my arms. Hope to be around a bit more. Good to see your words.

Type your words here:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s