We Disburse from Starbucks

I realize I dislike this phase as intensely as I’ve come to dislike time. Therefore, I’m invariably and consciously late to the meeting. I feel strange and courteous; smiling– remarking the newborn’s coloring is the perfect shade of pink.

What I call home is less than a mile away, and presently a large group of children makes a mass exodus in front of the tables we have pushed together. A young girl remarks how cute the baby is, then hides her face in the crowd.

Time comes to disperse us. Do I say goodbye? No. I repeat my summation aloud: I need this; this meeting together. However, I’ve expressed similar needs about lots of other healthy things before. Like the pesto-basted fish that’s been sitting in my freezer forever. And a day. I leave it.

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30 thoughts on “We Disburse from Starbucks

  1. This was very enjoyable. I’m not feeling too articulate today, but I’ll try– there’s a wryness and weariness to your voice here that’s relateable and, oddly, (at least for me) welcoming. I like the kind of sardonic humor, tinged with regret, and the idea of intensely disliking time. Totally feel you there, haha XD

  2. I agree. The last meeting of our women’s group will be in two weeks. I know I need it but look forward to the end for abit. But you are better than. I wouldn’t havd that pesto fish to start with. That was such a nice touch and just brought it all together so well.

      1. That is funny. I boght something similar years ag and ended up offering to my cat at the time. He sniffed and then tried to cover it. That was enough for me!

  3. ah….the last meeting of the season…….tis always hard to disburse. And we put the memories in the back of our minds, like that fish in the freezer, but we know we’ll bring them out again…when the school bells chime and fall ushers in a new season of groupie times! 🙂 Well done.

  4. “Disperse.” Such a formal, Dickinsonian word. And pesto-basted fish. Does that make the fish look green? The tension here between living in reflection and the appropriate need to socialize is one I think I can relate to. I guess we need both kinds of living, don’t we?

    1. yep, the fish is green! yep, meeting together is good for us! But Spring makes us want to ditch all the “good stuff,” and set out on a road-trip laden with greasy, sugary food stops, doesn’t it? The teaching life predisposes us to all these heightened feelings of “I want to be free!”

  5. I live less than a 5 minute walk from my place of work, yet I am invariably late… so thismakes a whole lot of sense to me.

  6. Letting go.. can be so difficult
    until one realizes
    tHere iS
    no letting
    go only reaL
    stayYinG Now..
    WitH but noT WitH
    juSt wordS.. seNses
    FeeLinG DanCinG
    SinGinG liFe WholE
    anD thE Rest SnoWs
    iN Flow unFroZen ZonE..:)

  7. You understand, then, why I refuse to go to any of the men’s group meetings. I can’t fake interest in camping, hunting, or fishing. They refer to me with skepticism as a “book-reader.” This is why I tend to be a loner. Yes, but you need your women’s group. More accurately, they probably need you more. Loved the conversational tone in this. Mwah! Have a bitchen’ summer – stay sweet! See you at the beach – if you make parole. Moskowitz, class of ’81

  8. “I feel strange and courteous”
    You have finally captured that crawly feeling I have every time I have to attend a sales meeting. You captured it all, Angie.
    Happy Summer!

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