When Our Bodies Could Stand It

were young
rivers of perpetual
living, a far ocean moaning,
&swimming. we were young lost stars
on mountaintops, daisy arms plucking and
swimming.  we were young ripples under the
current, dipping our bodies into that cold pond
water, &swimming. we were young able-bodied,
way, way out there, we were young&dumb,
to this i’ll swear, just swimming, happy
to be young, happy in our flesh
just swimming.

A concrete poem for Blogging University



  1. Oh, to be young again. More accurately, oh to be young enough to still remember being young. This brought some of it back. Thanks.

  2. Love how the concrete form causes the “we were young” lines to build (and then unbuild).

      • But of course you meant to do that–whether you noticed it at the time or not. 🙂

  3. we were young lost stars
    on mountaintops

    happy in our flesh

    Two examples from your poem of really artful wording and phrasing. You find new ways to express youth and youthful living. Thanks!

  4. Ah, lovely–one feels very “in the swim” when young (or else completely out of it.) But more in! This has great flow (no pun), and wonderful tropes. I myself am still a great cold water swimmer! k.

  5. I say this is an awesome way to form a concrete form, though I saw a buoy and not a droplet… still the water and the flow (!) works perfectly with those dreams of youth

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