I Might Buy You a Mallet

PicCollagewhen I forgot the onions
it was weird and we wondered
what the heck was missing
so i typed it all out for you
because i could see how my
tattered snappy soups
salads and sandwiches page
from quick cooking could be
a tad bit embarrassing
in your new college kitchen
-and you know how we usually wallop
a bag of walnuts with whatever
soup can we have in the cupboard?
you probably shouldn’t do that.
i used to use my mallet
which I swear one of you kids broke
and disposed of secretly
because a heavy-ended mallet
just doesn’t sprout legs
and walk away on its own
now does it?? hmmm
i might buy you a mallet
to crush your walnuts
or a small food processor
-and don’t forget to put a big squeeze
of ketchup on top
a good Tablespoon kiss
before you dig in &mix it all up
with your hands, shape into patties,
and fry it on the pan.

a sort of ingredient list for Real Toads

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31 thoughts on “I Might Buy You a Mallet

  1. This is the BEST, girl! I dig it the most. 🙂

    Especially these:

    “i could see how my
    tattered snappy soups
    salads and sandwiches”

    “we usually wallop
    a bag of walnuts with whatever”

    “before you dig in &mix it all up
    with your hands”

  2. Mallets have many enchanting uses. I’ve got a black walnut tree in my back yard which bombs the house with falling nuts every summer. The squirrels like them, but as far as i can determine, don’t use them in any squirrel recipes. 😉

  3. This was wonderful. It perfectly captured the tone of a parent trying to create a list and then diverting to some bit of family lore as a tangent.

  4. I absolutely love your poetry because it’s about every day in a way that doesn’t hurt my head or make me feel stupid.
    PLUS, there’s a crunch, a rhythm, and a feel to what you do that’s like no other.
    Superb!

    1. It is about My Everyday. Even when it does hurt my head, putting it down on paper helps. A major monkey in my brain lately is what to name our new pup. All 6 of us cannot agree.

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