‘father’ is in this

this poem has the word ‘father’ at least once
have you forgiven me? not that i asked
i don’t know if i ever told a soul
but i’ve wished the ones i loved to be dead

give thanks to the Lord, i’ll miss you the most
it wasn’t working, when you weren’t at home
mom washed a bottle by hand in white soap
and got it stuck before my very eyes

only white butter cream could do the trick
have I done well? washed two bowls &two spoons
to eat our GrapeNuts before we cannot
i think that’s where my heart is– so it is

i like butter &bubbles &white dogs
i curl my hair & go to the movies
i muse, father, we are not so lonely
fuchsia starfish cling without any thumbs

have i loved well? by well, i mean enough
i have forgotten the feel of teal spines
but i can spell the names printed on face:
In Cold Blood, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

fuchsia’s free &pink &your hair’s not white
have i ever said i’ll miss you the most?
that i would never wish you a real death
aren’t words fugitives? paupers on paper

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3 thoughts on “‘father’ is in this

    1. It is a monologue. Don’t you call them poemologues? I just shifted for visual interest. Words are never enough, runaway things. Fugitives. I’m winding down for summer, as far as posting goes, and I’m recharging and reading more. Best to you.

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