How to Grow Kick Ass Friendships

In order to grow kick ass friendships, you have to get down to brass tacks. Assignment #1– spend a weekend with your budding bad ass friends and proceed to laugh your asses off. Continue with such asinine running gags like asphalt, astonish, asterisk, asteroid, or my personal favorite– Asiago cheese. If anyone asserts the Uranus joke, no one shall laugh. That’s just dumb. Aspirin shall be passed liberally, and if you ever tell anyone outside of the circle what happened on your slightly askew weekend…think again, as you could be tagged an asylum escapee, which is one kick in the ass you don’t want. You know, I’m really not sure why I’m telling you all this. I assumed everyone knew all aspects of how to grow kick ass friendships, but dare I forget another golden friendship rule: we should never a-s-s-u-m-e anything, because it makes an ass out of u & m-e. In the end (not ass), if all aspirations fail consider that at least you’ve written an honest assonance poem.





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