When I Am Dead

I lie
In bed
As mute

Some sort
Of a song
I remember
And I am

With sunset
With strength
I’m gaining
Climbing wishes

On the slips
Of fading light
(Almost like
A small child
Toward a star.)



33 thoughts on “When I Am Dead

  1. What a beautiful poem. I’ve read it through a few times now. As you asked for suggestions, the only part I was unclear on was “as mute September.” (but it’s probably just me.) I really loved “inventing some sort of a song I remember.” 🙂

  2. I love the shape of this–the line breaks work so well in their own right, then the visual column like a ladder. My favorite lines are in the second and third stanzas.

  3. I don’t think it got muddy in the middle at all. The rhythm is great; it mirrors the climbing. And I really love the idea of “climbing wishes on slips of fading light” and comparing it to a child climbing toward a star. Beautiful!

Type your words here:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s