When I Am Dead

I lie
In bed
As mute
September
Inventing

Some sort
Of a song
I remember
And I am
Surprised

With sunset
Streaming,
With strength
I’m gaining
Climbing wishes

On the slips
Of fading light
(Almost like
A small child
Toward a star.)

 

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33 thoughts on “When I Am Dead

  1. What a beautiful poem. I’ve read it through a few times now. As you asked for suggestions, the only part I was unclear on was “as mute September.” (but it’s probably just me.) I really loved “inventing some sort of a song I remember.” 🙂

  2. I love the shape of this–the line breaks work so well in their own right, then the visual column like a ladder. My favorite lines are in the second and third stanzas.

  3. I don’t think it got muddy in the middle at all. The rhythm is great; it mirrors the climbing. And I really love the idea of “climbing wishes on slips of fading light” and comparing it to a child climbing toward a star. Beautiful!

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