A Tisket, A Tasket

To the little girl in kindergarten
I turned to say, “I beg your pardon?”
She said, “Dippity dapple,
I’m Iris Eve Apple.”
“Don’t be cute.  I’m here as your warden.”

Ahh, substitute teaching…you always have to be on your toes, especially with kindergarteners who are prone to step on them or touch them if they see polish on the nails. I taught so many cute kids this week in grades K-4.  “Cute,” by all other measures until their regular teacher stepped out for a day… or two.  A poster in the kindergarten room read, “Teaching kindergarten is like putting 100 corks into a bathtub and then trying to keep them all down at one time.”  Well, that drowning metaphor was, um, inappropriate (but interesting).  I think substitute teaching is similar, except that there’s that one kid who brings bubble bath and slips it into the tub, so the teacher cannot  see the corks anymore. All the teacher hears is giggling. Try to manage that…sub!  Blindly entering a fragile ecosystem can be tricky, but if I were counting miracles, I would count these:

  • The boy who hid in his cubby because other kids called him Justin Bieber finally came out
  • Nobody was harmed in what turned into a mosh pit of ring-around-the-rosy
  • I didn’t contract lice or the flu from notorious room 22
  • No one threw up or peed their pants
  • They cried “encore, encore” to my singing voice
  • Two kids told me, “I love you”
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