(Inspired by) Bravery

English: Lucille ball

So, my last post on looking at the snakes in our lives in order to “live” goes beyond medical healing for me.  I have found through writing that snakes slither onto my page undetected. My greatest childhood fear of a snake biting my bare bottom while seated on the toilet is how I feel now when my “past” hooks its fangs into my “business.”   I hate that I’ve begun to deliver a prepared disclaimer to my weekly writing group –“It’s a bit of a downer…surprise!”  Even worse, was last Wednesday when I decided not to follow my pen because I knew exactly where it was going (to death of something or someone in one form or another) and I was sick and tired of delivering doom and gloom. It was my all-time creative low when I crossed my words out and penned a couple of weak Haikus!

Why should I apologize for looking bravely at my imperfect past?  As a writer, this is grist for my mill. Nietzsche remarked that a man must come to love his wounds and as Hemingway wrote, “Sit down at a typewriter and bleed,”  so must I.  However, when suppressed memories slither their way onto my page, I feel fragmented from my usual upbeat self.  Every time I write, I feel my past makes a predatory raid on my person.  I have found that the snakes are not under the toilet lid, but inside of me!

A self-proclaimed brave woman (not self-proclaimed funny) Lucille Ball, once said, “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”  Another woman I admire is online writing community leader and author, Peggy Tabor Millin.  “As fearless writers, we write past uncomfortable toward the truth.”  So, to be a brave woman or writer, I have found the struggle is in revealing my true self–not the self I present to the world, but the self I do not fully know and this scares me more than any snake but writing issss not for the cowardly!  

 

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3 Comments

  1. Good stuff! I have a few snakes in my classroom if you’d like to tame them!

  2. Wonderful blog! Thanks for visiting mine. I do hope you find some love and enjoyment living in California as much as I did and miss so much. Kansas does have some great pluses. I do hope your husband gets better with his medical problem. I am also back and forth to medical clinics, and hospitals in Topeka and Kansas City. It can be very stressful and depressing at time. Keep up your wonderful writing even if it does have snakes because writing about them can be a therapeutic.

  3. Very well done. I wrote a post not too far away from this one a while back. We think about the snakes inside similarly… but differently, off course. We’re different people.

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